Two weeks ago... I was very worried about my grandma's health as she was taken in to hospital. I cancel all plans and I get there as soon as possible to see her. But! I couldn't make it on time!
The heartache of loosing my grandmother is very difficult to deal with. I try to be strong but we cry most of the time. All family and friends gather at our house as we wait the next day for the funeral. Everyone that comes brings something to eat. But no one can eat! Many children around, they don't really know so they play, lough and remind us things we don't remember.
I go to her house, which is next door to ours. I sit where I used to sit when she was there. It feels like a lie. Her house is untouched everything is just like it used to be. Very organized, picture frames holding pictures of her children, Grandchildren and friends, many flowers, it's almost like a garden, many little objects on the shelves. I touch, smell and imagine that she was there.
Looking at old pictures, remembering, organizing all the photos we've got in our family albums and also my Grandma's! Yes this is what I did to keep myself busy and think about her life and not the ending!
She was....beautiful, pure white skin, almost purple like blue eyes, cotton white hair. Once very long and brown! She has been always very careful on what she was wearing. She loved accessories, she had her rings and earring till the last minute. She loved to use brooches, she wouldn't be seen without wearing one. Her bags, her clothing. I remember many times going there and asking her to browse through her stuff and find something to take. She never said no!
Now I left everything in it's place. As long as they are there I'll feel that she may be there too!